A couple things you should know before reading this post...
1. My dad has a potty mouth and he will be quoted {I warned ya}.
2. I'm a daddy's girl...so I am a little biased!
3. It may make you laugh and possibly cry!
I have a dad of many one liners.
For example, if you complain you are hungry, then you know you are going to hear...
"Are you hungry enough to eat the hind end out of a dead skunk?!'
If you tell him that the weekend is packed with a bunch of family obligations...
"Well kids it looks like we will be having a whole lot of FFF (Forced Family Fun)!"
Feeling frustrated with a friend, neighbor, coworker, etc.
and you want to complain to my Dad...this would be his advice:
"Tell them they are lucky?!"
"Why are they lucky, Dad?"
"Cause they can kiss your a** and you can't!!!"
When we were little and we would ask my dad where he was going...every time his answer was.
"To see a man about a horse!"
(oddly enough he never came home with one but we kept asking him)
Some other good one liners...
"I am going to kick your butt so hard that when you stop rolling your clothes are gonna be out of style!"
"That makes about much sense as a one-legged man butt kicking contest."
"New Mess on The Lawn" aka New Kids On The Block
When my Dad was Bishop I was lucky enough to go to a few of the weddings he performed. The best advice was given to the groom. He would usually make the groom turn and stare right into his eyes and make sure he was paying close attention.
"If Ma's happy. Everybody is happy.
If Pa's unhappy...nobody cares!"
Moral of the story treat your girl right! Every ones mood plays off ma's! So keep her happy!
Sometimes he sings inappropriate songs to the grand kids
Birdie Birdie in the sky
let a turdie in my eye
I'm no baby I don't cry
I'm just glad that cows don't fly
And he also shares things he is not supposed to...
When I was trying out for the cheer team when I was 15
He would help me with my back handsprings over and over
With the occasional elbow and knee to his nose
When my toe touches needed to be, (his words) "higher" and "better"
He would get his skis out and put them on me and tell me to keep practicing
He will tell you ALL Icelanders are stubborn and bullheaded.
My dad loves red neck jokes.
Loves his family.
Can totally pull off a purse!
This guy loves music.
And he has moves!
"Hope" by Shaggy will put him in the best of moods!
Loves to hunt, four wheel, be with his dogs (his other children)!
While growing up my mom would travel, my siblings were all in high school or married, and so my dad would take me to Blockbuster (remember blockbuster ha) and we would rent musicals. That is where I think we truly bonded. King and I, Oklahoma, 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, Calamity Jane. Looking back now I think how patient my dad was...I would ask 308,908 questions during each movie. Sure, he would tell me to "be quiet" and "just watch you will see what happens!" But, he still took the time to give me a love for old movies and musicals.
One of his favorite past times is watching YouTube clips..over and over...
Like this
and this
and of course this!
And, yes, tears just flow.
Kinda like when he watches
"Here Comes The Boom" with Kevin James!
He has a tender heart!
The thing that brings my dad the most joy in life would have to be his kids.
Mostly our kids but he wouldn't get his grand kids with out these crazies first!
Who am I kidding?
The person who he loves the mostest in this whole world would have to be our Mom.
I am so glad he took her to the Jr. Prom
And Sr. Prom
And that he was smart enough to marry her!
Now, I am aware that I am making my dad sound perfect...he has some flaws! ;)
If he even hears the word "Obama" his blood starts to boil.
He has renamed CNN as the Clinton News Network
Don't even get him started on the MLB, NBA, and NFL!
If your hat is on backwards, you will get thumped!
He hates anything "HOLLYWOOD!"
My dad is not perfect. He has a temper. He can cuss with the best of 'em!
But, none the less he is pretty perfect!
So glad I will always be his baby!
Happy Father's Day from down unda!
